The first day is the hardest day Why the fuck am I doing this anyway???

In order to justify my own existence (something that is not easily done, ask my friends...) I feel as though I must post some sort of a mission statement involving the purpose of this here blog taking up space on the world wide Internets. So here it is:

1.) I happen to find myself rather amusing, and I think that you will, too.
2.) Sometimes throughout the day, things happen to me. Some of these things warrant mentioning. I will mention those things here. You can read about them if you like.
3.) I find myself rather amusing, and I think that you might as well.
4.) I know rather obscure baseball statistics dating back to when I was eight years old. However, I cannot remember my own father's birthday if my life depended on it. I am not sure how this lends itself to a readable blog, but I am fairly certain it must.
5.)Like the average male, I enjoy sports, alcohol, half or fully naked women, and gratuitous swearing. I promise that the majority of this blog will be filled with the aforementioned subjects. You have my word that I will not post about "my feelings," "emotional issues," or "specific advice from my latest psychiatrist meeting." I promise to keep these things buried deep within me, as one should.
6.) One cannot spend all of one's time on the world wide Interwebs checking out teenage chicks on "Myspace." I have a friend who did this and a uniformed man claiming to be from the "local police" confisicated his computer. Given my fondness/addiction to my computer time, I must make certain that this doesn't happen to me. In other words, this blog is nothing but a front.


In order to convince you that this blog is dripping pure testosterone,
I will leave you with this...


Until next time bitches...